Humor. The end of 2017. In every joke there is a share of the representation by fulfilling the promise, “the dark Lord” about torn to shreds the Russian economy and disaster for the Russian army
in Syria. Died down “diplomatic warriors”, and “terrible” sanctions make us stronger. Fun end of the year…
Bouncy and nutty needle Russia (country-gas station attack-54)!
Author Aleksei Smorchkov
Vladimir Putin again went to the polls, and so, dear readers of the infamous blozhik, in anticipation of the New year I have some bad news for you — again we were left without Russian “iPhone”. Right was hell, or rather, shame and disgrace, Viktor Shenderovich and Ksenia Larina, Garry Kasparov and Georgy Yavlinsky. Not afraid of the word, was right even Michael Bohm, and even more right Ksenia Sobchak, with the words about genetic rabble, implying damned 86% of the cattle in the country.
All we can do is grow some corn, get some oil, build some space and nuclear missiles to deliver progressive totalitarian Europe gas and rivet obsolete tanks in the era vseobshee victory transgender rights and liberalism . Come to shame together, that’s 54 edition of the Chronicles of insulation and tearing Russia to shreds.
We start of course, with our curses. After all, how would giving away our natural gas for free, and the needy. For example, today, my mom said that she heard on TV, they say Russia’s population is 2% of the world, and effort from us — more than 20% of the world reserves. Mother said that he had heard on a talk show cries of dissent — say, it is not democratic. By the way, spoke about it at the time, and Madeleine Albright. However, in the future, my mom had the same idea, we together sent and Madeleine and other “Western partners” to work…! But while “Gazprom” is smiling!
Transnational Russian Corporation “Gazprom” in 2017 significantly increased as the production of natural gas and its export to foreign countries. The power company has reviewed the interim results for the 11.5 months of the year.”According to preliminary data, from January 1 to December 15, 2017, the Gazprom group produced 447,9 billion cubic meters of gas. This is by 53.1 billion cubic meters (13.4 per cent) more than in the same period of 2016″, — quotes RIA Novosti common message.
In addition, 8.3% increase in the export of Russian gas to the far abroad countries, which in less than a calendar year have already exceeded the record figure for the entire year of 2016.
Interesting, isn’t it? We broke up, imposed sanctions, announced victims of the fateful sword of the Western world — and themselves pop and the gas is consumed. Moreover, we are well aware that recently Germany, whose leader looking for the secret of the Chechen gay of jail, spit on US (while quietly, but angrily) — she supports “Zevotek-2”. And then there’s this dastardly Miller is quite a promise that he would get as necessary. And as you understand it? What about the isolation? By the way, not to pull the intrigue, Yes, Yes, Yes, I think we’ve got needles, all of our missile, grain, and even Esperase about it already wrote — steralisation. Meet and ashamed.
The supply of means of imitation and camouflage of military equipment in 2017 increased two times in comparison with the previous year. About this “Interfax” reported the representative of the company “Rusbal” Alexey Komarov. According to him, the Russian inflatable tanks and missiles “are in great demand in the world” and compete with products from the UK, China and Germany.
First, of course, Oh. I remember I read some article, of course, honest Western media, he drives the Russian bullshit, she doesn’t have tanks, so it makes them bouncy. Well, it is clear that man, in principle, does not understand that to Bang the same “Tamagawa” rubber purposes insulting than to Bang on this. And “Caliber” it’s a shame, something to hide. And because, Oh, it turns out, the UK and Germany make such layouts. And now we have them not only spoil the hunt for our equipment, but also compete in the supply of inflatable targets. You more, I hope, imbued with the idea — what we don’t like the West, God forgive me, experts? But this is not all.
Last year everyone was disturbed by the news of global leadership of Russia in export of coriander (seeds of cilantro, although more correct to call cilantro coriander greens). Many considered it a temporary phenomenon associated with a deficit in India (the main producer and consumer) due to crop failure. However, in 2017, Russia continues to lead in the supply of this spice on the world market. For 10 months of 2017, Russia exported nearly 41 million tonnes of coriander (seeds and ground), whereas the main competitor — India for 9 months only 27.5 thousand tons Monthly supply of both countries are relatively stable: Russia 4 THD. MT in the month, India — 3 thousand t. So, the leadership of Russia at the end of the year no doubt. Other countries give us more: Ukraine’s exports, Syria, Bulgaria, Italy is approximately 15-20 thousand tons a year.
Monstrous, of course, a shame. At the time, as Elon Musk is the undisputed leader in the production of beautiful videos about the missions to Mars, and our doing — anything! Although, as you know, this is not the end — there is no limit sneaky Russian!
Service life multipurpose nuclear submarines of the fifth generation “Husky” will be 52 two years, told RIA Novosti the head of the sector of robotics Petersburg naval Bureau of machine building “malachite” Oleg Vlasov.St. Petersburg naval Bureau of machine building “malachite” named after academician N. N. Isanina is engaged in the development of nuclear submarines (NPS), including the nuclear submarines of the fourth generation “Ash”.
Let’s be honest — is scum! They saw the budget and send the request to Alexei Navalny — let them check these crooks and thieves! After all, every self-respecting representative of the creative class knows that the car should be changed at least every three years, and the iPhone once a year. And here — 52! Yes, do not live so much — answer the young catcher pokemon, dreaming about how to buy bitcoins cheaply and sell high! For 52 years technical thought will go forward! Change the icons of the interface, increase memory card, in the end — will change the design, and we like suckers — will float on submarines half a century ago or something!
Yes, comrades, it’s a shame. But down and out the trouble started. To complete the release of the Chronicles of the isolation of Russia I will this time with a heavy feeling. The Russians have not learned to choose the good and proper things. About it next, but could drink in Texas.
The results of sales of new trucks in our country in November 2017. In the last month of autumn of the current year in Russia the volume of market of new trucks amounted to 8.6 thousand cars, more than last year 56.9%, informs analytical Agency “AUTOSTAT”.
I have nothing to add here. If we would have in power and in the field would have been smart people, they would have listened to Ksenia Sobchak, would have chosen her President and then she with a team of professional experts and analysts would be able to make a program that Russia became a great Country. Maybe not immediately, maybe in contrast to Xenia anatolevny, someone would have to not drink a smoothie, and some water from the tap. But then, those who’d survived — would be proud of this victory. But, alas, no chance. In “the country” no Minamoto of power, but because instead of Parmesan will be some Trucks, instead of the beautiful “IPhone X” shit, sorry, submarines that have and use to have 52 years, seizing coriander. Are you happy wool? You understand — what have you lost? Happiness to you.
Foreigners about Putin: “so can joke, only a very intelligent person. No wonder Western politicians are afraid of him”
The Author – Ruslan Hubiev
They say that in order to rule the state, it is not necessary to have a sense of humor. Really is the wrong advice. For many people in the West, Russian President Vladimir Putin would have remained a living Enigma, if not numerous press conferences, statements and interviews.
To make tyrant from zero to the Western mass – media elementary task, but to create the image of an isolated autocrat, when the entire Internet is full translated into English presidential interviews on the shoulder not to everyone.
What’s the point to “draw” cold and repulsive pictures, when most of the news goes to the Internet. What is the meaning of pull out the phrase, when the full text of only a couple of search queries. What to make of the Russian President “thug,” when in reality he is a charismatic political resident.
Best Putin jokes
The best cutting jokes Putin 2017
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